So Gross

"Skiing" (falling) in the Alps

So many interesting things happen in Berlin every day. I participate in some of them, trying new and weird things all the time, but the things that really end up staying with me are the little experiences I have in my German class.

Today we were learning about Karneval (Germany's incredible take on Mardi Gras) and all of the fun and frivolity that accompanies this annual celebration. Our textbook included a drawing of people in various costumes at a Karneval celebration. We learned exciting new German words - from "Seeräuber" (pirate) to "Bauchtänzerin" (belly dancer) that I am thrilled to incorporate into my regular vocabulary. ("Hello, Herr Seeräuber, I'll take two croissants please.") After discussing costumes we liked and why, we went around the room and declared which of the featured costumes we'd wear if attending a celebration ourselves. The first student went, picking "Vampire", an old stand-by. Another followed, relying on the classic, if scary, "Clown". My only female classmate went with the predictable "Queen", and then the choice fell on my nervous shoulders.

I quickly scanned my options, mentally writing and re-writing the sentence in my head with the appropriate case and gender. The Mouse costume certainly looked cozy, so I declared, "If I were attending Karneval, I would go as a Mouse." Silence. Then the shortest guy in our class shot me an incredulous look and blurted out - "Aber Liz...du bist sehr GROSS!" It's not every day you can be called "gross" - especially in a situation where you've paid money to be there. Everyone looked to the teacher - lacking the words to ask, but silently pleading to understand how someone so big (i.e. gross) could ever convincingly portray a Mouse. She hesitated, understanding the gravity of the moment. She appeared to think of a perfect explanation and excitedly shouted, (auf Deutsch, of course) "Well....Liz....she could be....the "King Kong" of mice!" She actually made ape like gestures and sounds to accompany her proclamation. While hearing animal sounds in class is not abnormal, today was the first time I'd heard them in my honor. I nearly considered it a compliment.

I laughed along - (I mean, why not?) - and wished I could let them know by goal had been to make it to 6'. Alas, I'm stuck here at 5'11", as gross as I'll ever be.