So Gross

"Skiing" (falling) in the Alps

So many interesting things happen in Berlin every day. I participate in some of them, trying new and weird things all the time, but the things that really end up staying with me are the little experiences I have in my German class.

Today we were learning about Karneval (Germany's incredible take on Mardi Gras) and all of the fun and frivolity that accompanies this annual celebration. Our textbook included a drawing of people in various costumes at a Karneval celebration. We learned exciting new German words - from "Seeräuber" (pirate) to "Bauchtänzerin" (belly dancer) that I am thrilled to incorporate into my regular vocabulary. ("Hello, Herr Seeräuber, I'll take two croissants please.") After discussing costumes we liked and why, we went around the room and declared which of the featured costumes we'd wear if attending a celebration ourselves. The first student went, picking "Vampire", an old stand-by. Another followed, relying on the classic, if scary, "Clown". My only female classmate went with the predictable "Queen", and then the choice fell on my nervous shoulders.

I quickly scanned my options, mentally writing and re-writing the sentence in my head with the appropriate case and gender. The Mouse costume certainly looked cozy, so I declared, "If I were attending Karneval, I would go as a Mouse." Silence. Then the shortest guy in our class shot me an incredulous look and blurted out - "Aber Liz...du bist sehr GROSS!" It's not every day you can be called "gross" - especially in a situation where you've paid money to be there. Everyone looked to the teacher - lacking the words to ask, but silently pleading to understand how someone so big (i.e. gross) could ever convincingly portray a Mouse. She hesitated, understanding the gravity of the moment. She appeared to think of a perfect explanation and excitedly shouted, (auf Deutsch, of course) "Well....Liz....she could be....the "King Kong" of mice!" She actually made ape like gestures and sounds to accompany her proclamation. While hearing animal sounds in class is not abnormal, today was the first time I'd heard them in my honor. I nearly considered it a compliment.

I laughed along - (I mean, why not?) - and wished I could let them know by goal had been to make it to 6'. Alas, I'm stuck here at 5'11", as gross as I'll ever be.

Liz Gets in Trouble

So the whole scenario began innocently enough. We were spending a dark, rainy Berlin morning practicing letter writing last week in German class. It was one of those days where I stop and think, "This is so civilized! This is such a very civilized way to spend a day!" (and haven't even had coffee yet to give me an artificial boost). We'd practiced writing a letter to our roommates, our secretaries (in our book, the boss - "chef" - was a woman and the secretary a man - wunderbar!) and had moved onto writing notes for our neighbors. In the example we were given, Franz stops by to say hello to Tomas. Tomas isn't home, so Franz leaves a letter that begins with, "You're not home" and is then followed with the German expression "schade"!

As our eyes fell upon this word in our book, my tablemate became visibly shocked. His eyes darted up to our teacher, silently begging her for an explanation. She asked if anyone knew the meaning of the word, and when I muttered "unfortunately", she confirmed this definition. My classmate maintained his reaction, however, and then looked to me for an explanation. I knew what'd he been thinking - he mistook "schade" for "scheisse" (that's s#*& for us), which you would certainly not leave in a note with your name on it for your neighbor. Well, most people wouldn't. I was excited that I understood why he might be confused and figured I may as well explain the distinction to him. I learned over to whisper, "you're thinking of scheisse, not schade!", and at the exact moment I formed the word "scheisse", the entire room fell silent. Turns out I got to share my teaching moment with everyone.

It was the first time my teacher (whom I adore) looked at me with disappointment, but I swear she was laughing on the inside. It's just her job to look disappointed, and she did it well. That's why I like her. My last teacher used to say things like "Liz, if you don't have colored pencils, you can't learn German". (I didn't, and I clearly wasn't.) Somehow I'd rather get in trouble for swearing.

Schaufensterbummel - Window Shopping German-style

We spent the last two weeks on a whirlwind tour of Germany - visiting Cologne, Frankfurt, Wiesbaden, Munich, Augsburg, and Hamburg. Amazing sights - from the famous (and gigantic) Cologne Dom (Cathedral) to the new mosque in Duisburg that is the largest in Germany. Delicious new foods and drinks - from Cologne's delightful Kölsch beer to traditional food prepared by us at a cooking class in Munich. I also spent a lot of time just walking through the charming pedestrian zones of each city. Here are some of my favorite store windows from my walks:

A store 100% devoted to the sale of felt- only in Germany

An amazing assortment of dried fruits in every color of the rainbow.

Not quite sure what's being sold here, but it's on sale!

A bakery chain that has really gotten into its advertising images - just look at the enthusiasm with which these women feed both themselves and each other!

And my favorite: an eyeglass store that used bottles of Jägermeister in its window display.
(Wear these glasses today and you'll have a headache tomorrow?)

In addition to photographing store windows, I also worked on perfecting the art of the self-pic on this trip. While Dominic spent mornings in seminars, I explored the many incredible museums of Germany and attempted to photo-document my adventures. Here is one of my better efforts:

Liz and Goethe pondering philosophy at the Goethe Haus in Frankfurt
(Notice no evidence of the outstretched hand...I practiced for quite awhile on this one)

We're back in Berlin now and I'm back in class. Next time I'll tell you how I got busted this week for accidentally swearing in class. For now, I'm going to make some tea and spend my Sunday evening relaxing - German-style!