I like life. The moment I get excited about something and announce it to the world - for example, how much fun it is to ride a bike again - you know that there will soon be an "incident" involving me and my bike. I believe the experts call that foreshadowing.
I had a blissful week of bike-riding - weaving in and out of lanes, following confident riders in front of me and pretending we were on a ride together. During a beautiful afternoon last week, I decided to take a short ride. My limited Berlin wardrobe includes few pairs of pants, and the ones I do have are a bit wide at the ankles (read: dangerous). Dominic and I had been noticing the various ways Berliners deal with this issue, and noticed that most people seemed to only roll up one pant leg. With our combined intelligence we concluded that you need only "pick a leg" and roll it up to avoid getting stuck in the bike's chain. Dom even volunteered that this was because the wind's forces would take over for the second leg, preventing it from harm. This made sense to me at the time.
I got about two blocks from our apartment and felt the tug. I looked down and realized I had donated about 5 inches of my corduroy pants to my beloved bike. I casually glanced around, determining how many people would have the joy of witnessing my struggles. In fact, our local school was in the midst of outdoor soccer practice, so I had a good 200 students within spitting distance. This forced me to employ some rusty acting skills. First I pretended I was just "taking a break". Then I attempted to mask my attempts to pull the pant leg out with a fake tying-of-the-shoe. Finally, I realized that this pant leg was going nowhere and I didn't want to continue my struggles publicly any longer. I began my journey home - slowly dragging my bike down the road while still attached to it. I made it to our apartment and managed to "lift" (pull) the bike up the stairs while still connected to it. By some stroke of luck, it was at that point that the pants gave up the good fight. Without me having to cut them out, they let go, and I was again separated from my bike.
In an episode of The Office, Michael makes a "how-to" video for his future son. In his lesson on jump-starting a car, he gives the following instructions: "To jump start a car, first pop the hood. Then you take these bad boys and clip them anywhere on the engine. Then you take these and clip them wherever." Oh yes, I had rolled my left pant leg (hey, wherever), which was already safely protected from the bike chain, leaving my right leg ready for the drama which inevitably came.
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4 comments:
Oh, Liz, you are such a good sport to tell on yourself. It is such a great story and I have to admit I was howling with laughter. Unfortunately you now have one fewer pair of pants for your Berlin wardrobe. Is shopping in your future? I see that we failed Dominic in bike riding skills and savvy. He never did enjoy riding a bike and gave up trying at a very young age.
Liz, this is such a great story. I am sorry to hear about your incident. I hope you are okay! I absolutely can't wait to see you - it's only three weeks away! Yeah! Debbie said she got to talk with you on the phone and I am mega-jealous. I can't wait to see you in person. Sounds like we'll get some 1:1 Liz/Katy time, too. I will keep reading... and by the way, maybe a project during this Berlin time could be writing a book? You definitely have the gift. Love ya, K
Liz,
You have moxie! I would
have laid on the ground and begged for help. Am impressed. :)
Euge
It is fun to read this and try not to laugh at work...I totally look constipated.
Maybe I should tell you a little story about the last time I witnessed Dominic on a bike (his age -- !!eight!!) which was when he broke his arm. Needless to say, Dominic learns from him mistakes...I have not seen him on a bike since :)
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